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"What do you want to do?"
Usually, I have some kind of opinion to answer such a question. "I want to go to the movies. I want to eat." Sometimes the answer is "I really don稚 know, you got any ideas?"
When my doctor looked at me, and said, "What do you want to do?" I was totally dumbfounded. My first thought was, "I want someone to wave a magic wand over me and make the problem disappear." My next thought was "Give me some drugs." I think I just sat there with my mouth open.
Sometimes, I wish I just had an old fashioned doctor who told me what was going to happen. But, I am considered to be an intellectual human being who has an interest and some input into decisions regarding my health. What a burden!
So, what do I want to do? I want to take back time, and wish that I had not mentioned that my menstrual cycle had strayed from normal. I知 willing to bet most women do not mention this to their gynecologists. I want to just pop a pill and have it work. I want to not consider my past physical history and be treated like the so-called "normal person." I want to ignore the problem.
So much for what I want to do; what did I do? I sat and listened to Dr. Daisy tell me all the options, and I heard her eliminate seventy-five percent of those choices. I reassured the doctor that I was not planning on having any more children. I asked several questions, and promise to read the literature she was sending me. Now, that I think of it, I didn稚 say anything about calling back with a decision. Maybe ignoring the problem will be an option.
What will I do? I知 going to read the literature, and do some research on my own. I値l probably swear a little. I値l get angry, and I値l think about finding a doctor who will give me the answers I want to hear. In the end, I will ask questions of and have a discussion with the doctor, and eventually, make a decision about what I want to do.
Feb. 2, 2000
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