Life on the Border

Why? - Life on the Border

The Magic School Bus Adventure

As a ritual, each January, I pledge to lose weight. Each January, I lose a little weight and each February, I gain those same pounds back. This time I am determine to lose the weight for good. This resolve is coming from deep inside because of fear of the number 40, family portraits that will be a lasting memory, and Ms Frizzle. Now, I have been fairly good about what I am putting into my body and exercising since the beginning of January, but the scale just doesn’t move as much as I would like for immediate positive reinforcement. I can be patient in most aspects of my life, but for some reason, I want immediate rewards in this area. Since I have been more paying more attention to weight and exercise I find myself doing some odd things, and I think Ms Frizzle might be at the root of all the problem.
Grocery shopping has become even more interesting than in the past. My grocery cart has always looked a bit odd, it has always been filled with fruits, vegetables, low fat items and then there is a bunch of high fat items. One of my daughters is extremely thin, and she loves fruit and vegetables, but I have always tried to keep some higher fat items with hopes that she will snack on them. So, I have often felt like I did some kind of split personality shopping. Now, I am reading labels. Of course, this makes shopping a much longer experience. If I come across a product that has tons of fat grams, I shove it back on the shelf, and flap my hand in the wind. You would think I just got burned. Same thing happens if something has more than 2 grams saturated fat per serving. In my mind, I see something akin to a Magic School Bus episode. The fat grams are a little cartoon character that make their way through the atoms that make up the packaging and end up on my hand. From my hand, they transverse into my bloodstream and finally find a comfortable spot on my stomach and settle in for a long life. I can just see Ms. Frizzle stuck to my body for life.
Now, I know that weight fluctuates and I really shouldn’t weigh myself each morning, but I like to see trends and chart things. (Yes, it is a bit neurotic, but I like information). So each morning before I hop into the shower, I place the scale down. I put it in approximately the same place on the floor each morning. I have thought about counting the tiles from the wall and from the shower to make sure I put it on the exact spot, but I thought that was the sign of a disturbed mind. Now, if I don’t believe what the scale says, I take the shower and hop back on. Weight fluctuates, right? Somehow, I think the weight is going to fluctuate in 10 minutes. It obviously doesn’t fluctuate that quickly. Maybe, I am getting some exercise by jumping off and on the scale. Or maybe, I think I can shake Ms Frizzle will just lose her footing should I jump around enough.
So, now I can envision Ms Frizzle just laughing because she isn’t leaving until the numbers on the scale decrease. I somehow have got to move that Magic School Bus and its little occupants off my body. If you’ve ever watched the Magic School Bus, you know the little pupils are always getting into situations and then they need to use some science or math to get out the situation, so I know these little figures are experimenting with my body. I have decided a few of them have crawled up into my sinus cavities and are playing havoc with my sinuses. They better watch out because the antibiotics are going to push them right back to the bus. But now, I have to be creative and find something to move the bus off into the molecules that create the scale. I guess I will just have to keep eating right and exercising and maybe someday Ms. Frizzle will just drive away. Hopefully before I have to face the number 40 and take a family portrait Ms. Frizzle will be on her way to another adventure.
January 9, 2003
©Jacqueline M. Carey

Any questions, comments send an email to jackie@jmcarey.com

Why? - Life on the Border





The Magic School Bus Adventure
As a ritual, each January, I pledge to lose weight. Each January, I lose a little weight and each February, I gain those same pounds back. This time I am determine to lose the weight for good. This resolve is coming from deep inside because of fear of the number 40, family portraits that will be a lasting memory, and Ms Frizzle. Now, I have been fairly good about what I am putting into my body and exercising since the beginning of January, but the scale just doesn’t move as much as I would like for immediate positive reinforcement. I can be patient in most aspects of my life, but for some reason, I want immediate rewards in this area. Since I have been more paying more attention to weight and exercise I find myself doing some odd things, and I think Ms Frizzle might be at the root of all the problem. Grocery shopping has become even more interesting than in the past. My grocery cart has always looked a bit odd, it has always been filled with fruits, vegetables, low fat items and then there is a bunch of high fat items. One of my daughters is extremely thin, and she loves fruit and vegetables, but I have always tried to keep some higher fat items with hopes that she will snack on them. So, I have often felt like I did some kind of split personality shopping. Now, I am reading labels. Of course, this makes shopping a much longer experience. If I come across a product that has tons of fat grams, I shove it back on the shelf, and flap my hand in the wind. You would think I just got burned. Same thing happens if something has more than 2 grams saturated fat per serving. In my mind, I see something akin to a Magic School Bus episode. The fat grams are a little cartoon character that make their way through the atoms that make up the packaging and end up on my hand. From my hand, they transverse into my bloodstream and finally find a comfortable spot on my stomach and settle in for a long life. I can just see Ms. Frizzle stuck to my body for life. Now, I know that weight fluctuates and I really shouldn’t weigh myself each morning, but I like to see trends and chart things. (Yes, it is a bit neurotic, but I like information). So each morning before I hop into the shower, I place the scale down. I put it in approximately the same place on the floor each morning. I have thought about counting the tiles from the wall and from the shower to make sure I put it on the exact spot, but I thought that was the sign of a disturbed mind. Now, if I don’t believe what the scale says, I take the shower and hop back on. Weight fluctuates, right? Somehow, I think the weight is going to fluctuate in 10 minutes. It obviously doesn’t fluctuate that quickly. Maybe, I am getting some exercise by jumping off and on the scale. Or maybe, I think I can shake Ms Frizzle will just lose her footing should I jump around enough. So, now I can envision Ms Frizzle just laughing because she isn’t leaving until the numbers on the scale decrease. I somehow have got to move that Magic School Bus and its little occupants off my body. If you’ve ever watched the Magic School Bus, you know the little pupils are always getting into situations and then they need to use some science or math to get out the situation, so I know these little figures are experimenting with my body. I have decided a few of them have crawled up into my sinus cavities and are playing havoc with my sinuses. They better watch out because the antibiotics are going to push them right back to the bus. But now, I have to be creative and find something to move the bus off into the molecules that create the scale. I guess I will just have to keep eating right and exercising and maybe someday Ms. Frizzle will just drive away. Hopefully before I have to face the number 40 and take a family portrait Ms. Frizzle will be on her way to another adventure. January 9, 2003 ©Jacqueline M. Carey
Any questions, comments send an email to jackie@jmcarey.com