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I'm sound asleep on the couch (see Nocturnal Nomad) and suddenly a little figure is crouched down next to me speaking strange words into my face. "What are you saying?"
A little voice answers quietly, "I have bumps on my tongue". The figure than proceeds to stick its tongue out at me.
My brain finally wakes up, and I realize that it is Jasmine. "Jas, are you telling me that you are thirsty?"
She shakes her head affirmatively.
It is five a.m., and my day of interpreting child talk has just begun. I still have not idea what statements were said into my face before I could comprehend that someone was talking to me. I am amazed that I somehow figured out "bumps on the tongue" is actually some kind of Jasmine idiom for "thirsty."
This strange child talk goes on all day. At night I hear "I'm itchy. I'm thirsty. I'm scared of (fill in the blank.)" All of these translated to "I don't want to go to bed yet." "She's giving me a headache," really just means "My little sister is being a pain in the rear." While doing homework, an angelic look followed by "I'm concentrating" really means "I don't want to do this homework, and I'm not really paying attention to it."
My five year has mastered child speak, and my baby is already learning. She's not even two yet, and has a limited vocabulary, but I have already picked up some clues. For example "Uh, oh," means something needs to be cleaned. Usually, this response is uttered after the sweet smiling child has thrown some food on the floor or spilled something on the carpet.
"Ma, ma," isn't necessarily a name. In many cases it just seems to mean, "I want someone to look at me." Often you just have to peak at the child, and she stops chanting. If a video is on, and the Ma-Ma chants begins; it means the video is over and someone needs to change it.
With both my children, there is always one word that doesn't have a cryptic meaning - "No!"
April 28, 2000 |
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