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When you reaches your mid thirties, you soon realize that you are no longer among the youngest people in any given area. At work, you are no longer the "wonder kid", instead you are just on of the masses. If you work at an Internet company, you are among the oldest workers. If you happen to be the oldest of six children, your baby sister will remind you that you are "Old."
On March 24 and 25, I found myself as one of the youngest in a crowd of 1500. I attended the Kathy and Judy convention. For those of you unfamiliar with Chicago talk radio, Kathy O'Malley and Judy Markey are daytime hosts of a talk radio show. They are two women in their mid fifties. Hearing them talk on the radio is a lot like eavesdropping on The Mother and her friends.
The Mother has been a girlfriend (Kathy and Judy groupies refer to themselves as girlfriends) of Kathy and Judy for years. I don't know how many times my sisters and I have heard statements such as "On Kathy and Judy today, they talked about adults living at home with their parents." Usually, we just roll our eyes, and say, "Okay, mom, what's the message?" By the way, for loyal listeners, The Mother, does not have any adult children living with her. She is actually going to live with one of my sisters for several months while she searches for a condo. So maybe, it's time to do a show about mothers moving in with their daughters.
As parents age, it becomes hard to find Christmas presents for them, so this year it occurred to me that I could get The Mother, Kathy & Judy Convention tickets. I trolled the WGN site for a few weeks, waiting for news about how to get tickets. Then I sent in over 100 postcards for a chance to be in the lottery for the tickets. Meanwhile, I tried to get my sisters to say they were interested in attending the convention (The Mother would have loved to attend with her six daughters in tow). I got the tickets, but couldn't convince the sisters to go along. Finally, I attended the convention with The Mother. This should give me favored daughter status for a long time.
The convention is geared toward older woman. I have seen my future, and I'm not sure if I am ready for it. I've come to the conclusion that as you get older, you lose your cool. I saw women fall over themselves to see a radio personality. Women would point and say, "Look, there's Mike Mathis." Mike Mathis does the traffic reports from the helicopter. The most overheard comment concerned Lou Manfredini, Mr. Fix-It, "Oh, he's so cute." He did his radio show live from the convention, and many women sat there paying close attention. I felt like I had been transported back to seventh grade, and all the girls were whispering about what boys they liked. They were certainly acting like girlfriends. Fortunately, women in their fifties and sixties have learned to tone down their voices and their giggles are not as shrill as those of several little girls I know.
On Saturday, there was an autograph session with Kathy and Judy. By this time, I felt like a teen-ager who was stuck with her uncool parents. I attended the session, but I thought I could just aim the camera at Kathy, Judy, and The Mother, and take the photograph. But that didn't happen, they had people to take the photograph, so I ended up in the picture. I was just happy that my mother did not blurt out that I was her daughter, and I was so wonderful because I had gotten her the tickets. At least she was cool enough, not to do that.
Overall, the convention was okay. I learned a little about gardening, and a little about eating correctly. I spent quality time with The Mother. I also learned that parents are really only cool for a brief period of time. My twenty-month-old child thinks I'm cool; my five-year-old daughter has already told me that I am not cool. Maybe this was a good experience for me to remember what it feels like to be hanging around with a not-so-cool parent. Also, the convention made me feel young.
My illusion of being young was shattered Saturday night when I went out to dinner with people who are two to eight years younger than I am. We ordered drinks, and I was the only one who didn't get carded. I was sent back to reality, back to being on the brink of middle age, back to being the uncool parent.
March 28, 2000 |
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