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Each evening I spend about forty-five minutes stuck in traffic. For about fifteen minutes my car actually moves at a decent speed. For the other half hour, I sit in a line of traffic that probably moves at the average of five miles an hour. During this time I get to read a lot of bumper stickers (okay, sometimes if I have mail in the car, I will read that also). Bumper stickers can let you conjure up all kinds of assumptions about people.
The other day, a truck veered into my lane. I guess he thought he had some right of way. I am behind the truck when we come to the entrance ramp. I get to the point where I can move over to the ramp, and start switching lanes. I am just getting ready to speed up when the truck in front of me decides to switch to the entrance ramp. I guess he didn't take the turn signal option on his truck. Plastered on the dirty truck were two Bush/Cheney bumper stickers. My first thought was "If I ever become a politician I am going to make sure I don't give bumper stickers to idiot drivers." Then I thought, "This guy probably bought his license under a Republican who was secretary of state." Needless to say, this truck driver did not make me like Republicans.
In the morning, I find myself being crossed by a person who has a bumper sticker that states, "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven." It's a nice sentiment, nothing really disagreeable with it. In this driver's case, it seems to be an excuse for being a hurried driver. This is one of those cars that weave in and out of traffic, desperately trying to get ahead of anyone in front of it. Since this person will be forgiven, I guess it is okay to drive like an idiot.
My favorite is the images on back windows. Although they are not bumper stickers they still try to convey a person's attitude. The one I never understand is the image of Calvin peeing on a car company's symbol. Every time I see that I know two things. One, a man owns the car (usually a pickup or SUV), and two; a really juvenile man owns the vehicle. There's the fascination with physically urinating on something seems to appeal to the male sex. I suppose if you were a stockowner in a competing vehicle company it might be saying something about crushing the competition, but I just don't think that is the idea behind the image.
What do I have on my car? I have a little window sticker with the WGN/Cubs logo. I guess it can mark me an eternal optimist who believes each season that the Cubs will go to the World Series. More than likely, it says that I am one of those foolish Chicagoans who actually support a very pitiful ball club.
November 2, 2000 |
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